fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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