Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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