I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She said her name was "party"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
