You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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