At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
