apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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