dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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