he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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