idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
