I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
A+ Viking dick
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