dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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