Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
