Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize