What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
