Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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