you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
