Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
