So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
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I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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