You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
