I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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