..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
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Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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