My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
