Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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