its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
