I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize