Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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