I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
