Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
