yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Me too!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
