I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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