Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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