Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
