I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
