Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
