You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
