actually, I'm a sock model
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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