i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
