he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
