Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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