Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
