I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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