No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
