she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
