But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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