he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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