woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
