I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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