what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
