dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
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and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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