Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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