How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
