I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
