I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize