CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
