I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize