508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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