My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
