I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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