hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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