I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
