so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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