I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
