all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
